Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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