After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
