some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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