Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
