i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
