Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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