have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
