I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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