I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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