every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
