her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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