He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
