I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
