I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
