I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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