Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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