I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so much tequila, so little girl.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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