i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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