I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
