just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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