I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
