you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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