the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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