before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
