My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
