The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
