I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
