I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
