so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
