There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
