Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
