How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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