we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize