...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
