you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
