Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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