Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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