Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
