i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
