Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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