Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
