she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
