I wannas sexs uuuuu
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
