He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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