Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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