Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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