Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
