For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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