Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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