Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
