i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
