I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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