Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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