the new term for farting is butt boxing.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
