Pappa wants mamma naked
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
