did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
