You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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