He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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