So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
