oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
