no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
