i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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