I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
