My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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