We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
