batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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