Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
