i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
