just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
