can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize