Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
