Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
