Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
