I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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