The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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