What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
