he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Did I show you my penis last night?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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