dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
