the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
