I skipped work to stalk him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
